Working the Steps | Resource Links
The Buddhist monk Ajahn Chah wrote, "Do everything with a mind that lets go. Do not expect any praise or reward. If you let go a little, you will have a little peace. If you let go a lot, you will have a lot of peace. If you let go completely, you will know complete peace and freedom. Your struggles with the world will have come to an end."
Foundation
The Trappist monk Thomas Merton wrote, "Our real journey in life is interior; it is a matter of growth and deepening, an ever greater surrender to the creative action of love and grace in our hearts."
The message of recovery is very simple: if we work the steps, we will have a spiritual awakening.
The steps speak directly to the mystery of being human, and to the deeper mystery of not being God. They introduce us to the spiritual principles of Narcotics Anonymous, and are in the order they're in for a reason: they follow the natural progression of recovery.
Prior to writing on a step, make sure to read about it in the Dharma of Recovery.
Step One
We admitted that we were powerless over our addiction, that our lives had become unmanageable.
This step involves cultivating genuine awareness and deep acceptance of things as they truly are, painful as that may be.
- What does it mean to be honest?
- What does it feel like to be honest?
- What would your life be like if you were honest?
- Make a list of all the lies you tell yourself.
- What does it mean to be afraid?
- What does it feel like to be afraid?
- Write about three instances of being afraid:
- while you were using
- since you stopped using
- Begin to practice asking yourself, "What's the truth?"
Step Two
We came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
This step involves entertaining the idea that we can learn what it feels like to be healed.
- What does it mean to have hope?
- What does it feel like to have hope?
- What would your life be like if you had hope?
- What does it mean to lose touch with reality?
- What does it feel like to have lost touch with reality?
- Write about three instances of your having lost touch with reality:
- while you were using
- since you stopped using
- Begin to practice asking yourself, "What am I doing?"
Step Three
We made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.
This step involves cultivating the desire to let go of the pain we've been holding on to for all these years.
- What does it mean to have courage?
- What does it feel like to have courage?
- What would your life be like if you had courage?
- What does it mean to take a leap of faith?
- What does it feel like to take a leap of faith?
- What would your life be like if you took that leap of faith on a daily basis?
- Begin to practice taking little leaps of faith.
- Begin to practice letting go.
Step Four
We made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
This step deals with facing our fears by speaking the truth to power.
- Read Working Step Four in Narcotics Anonymous to understand just what it is we're doing here.
- Set aside a weekend or two to fill out the grid-lists.
- Remember to read the overview before you start filling out the grids.
Step Five
We admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
This step deals with beginning to let go of those fears by attempting to understand our pain.
- What does it mean to trust?
- What does it feel like to trust?
- What would your life be like if you could learn to trust yourself?
- Share your fourth step with your sponsor.
Step Six
We were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.
This step deals with acknowledging the walls we've built around our hearts, defect by defect, fear by fear.
- What does it mean to be willing?
- What does it feel like to be willing?
- What would your life be like if you became willing?
- For each of your defects, write about:
• how they've made your life unmanageable
• the fears behind them
• why you want them removed
• the contrary actions you're willing to practice - Begin to practice the contrary actions.
Step Seven
We humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.
This step deals with the humble acceptance of our humanity, with softening our hearts by accepting our imperfections, with deepening our resolve to live without doing harm, and with learning how to be gentle with ourselves as we patiently allow our shortcomings to dissolve in their own time.
- What does it mean to be humble?
- What does it feel like to be humble?
- What would your life be like if you became humble?
- Remember: when negative or destructive thoughts arise — and they will; this is what it means to be human — simply allow them to arise, acknowledge their existence, accept them, honor them, and then let them go.
- Begin a daily mettā practice.
Step Eight
We made a list of all persons we had harmed and became willing to make amends to them all.
This step deals with opening our hearts, with cultivating willingness to acknowledge our part in things, with admitting that our pain often spilt over into other people's lives.
- What does it mean to acknowledge your part in things?
- What does it feel like to acknowledge your part in things?
- What would your life be like if you acknowledged your part in things?
- For each amend you owe, write about:
• the circumstances
• how you felt then
• how you feel now
• the exact action(s) you're willing to take / amount you're willing to repay - Begin to practice acknowledging your part in things.
Step Nine
We made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
This step deals with learning to forgive ourselves, then moving beyond forgiveness to acceptance.
- What does it mean to miss the mark?
- What does it feel like to miss the mark?
- What does it mean to forgive yourself?
- What does it feel like to forgive yourself?
- What would your life be like if you could forgive yourself for all the times you missed the mark?
- Begin to practice forgiving yourself.
Step Ten
We continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.
This step deals with learning to laugh at ourselves, with joyfully embracing our mistakes and our humanity.
- What does it mean to be human?
- What does it feel like to be human?
- What does it mean to accept yourself?
- What does it feel like to accept yourself?
- What would your life be like if you could learn to accept the fact that you're human?
- What would your life be like if you could learn to laugh at yourself each time you missed the mark?
- Each night, write about the things you did that felt right, that were skillful: what your intent was in doing what you did, what it felt like as you were doing it, and what happened after you had done it.
- Each night, write about the things you did that felt wrong, that were unskillful: what your intent was in doing what you did, what it felt like as you were doing it, what happened after you had done it, and what you'll try to do differently the next time.
- Forgive yourself, and letting go, allow yourself to fall into a sweet and blameless sleep.
- Begin to practice laughing at yourself.
Step Eleven
We sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.
This step deals with keeping our hearts open, with being present for our lives.
- What does it mean to be aware?
- What does it feel like to be aware?
- What would your life be like if you were aware of what you were doing?
- What does it mean to let go?
- What does it feel like to let go?
- What would your life be like if you could learn to let go completely?
- Begin to practice gently allowing your struggles with the world to come to an end.
Step Twelve
Having had a spiritual awakening as a result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to addicts, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.
This step deals with cultivating compassion, with working on a daily basis to keep our hearts open, with being present for others by being of service.
- What does it mean to be grateful?
- What does it feel like to be grateful?
- What would your life be like if you were grateful for being alive, for being clean?
- To learn how to be of service at the most fundamental level, read Bless With The Heart.
- Begin to sprinkle more and more moments of awareness throughout your day, allowing your heart to slowly but surely overflow with compassion.
At lunch time, a recovering addict decides to pay a visit to his new sponsee, who sells hot dogs from a push cart near Central Park. "Make me one with everything," says the sponsor. The sponsee fixes up a hot dog with all the trimmings and hands it to the sponsor, who pays with a $20 bill. The sponsee puts the bill in the cash box and closes it.
"Where's my change?" asks the sponsor.
The sponsee replies, "Change must come from within."
Any merit accrued from this effort is dedicated to all sentient beings.
Last modified January 23, 2025
